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Turning 40, motherhood, runningArchive for running
training
track stuff is going well, other than I am probably choosing workouts that are too short for 10k racing. Tuesday night it was three sets of 800, 600, 200. I rested 95 between intervals with one lap between sets. Felt very strong. Tempo tonight with a goal of 6:35 for four miles.
Race day is approaching
My first race in more than five years is just two days away. The last race I ran was the Labor Day 8k, 2003. I think I ran that in 31:10. Sunday September 21 I make my debut as a masters’ runner. Tune in to find out the damage.
running strong
Last night I jogged up to the track and ran my first tempo in five years. I forgot what I was missing. I love running LTs on the track. And I was thrilled with my pace, predicting a sub 20 5km, which I wasn’t expecting. I glanced at my watch after my first lap and saw I was quick. And then when I was quick at the half I kind of panicked and intended to slow down, but it didn’t really happen. It ended up feeling pretty smooth and comfortably hard. I’ve really lost that sense of pace but it will return. I was expecting 7s but ran 6:30s for three miles- short I know but I needed to feel good about it, my hold on this motivation is so tenuous right now. My long runs are now 11+, which really helps with endurance and I am ready to tentatively dip my toe into the racing thing again. September 21…..I will report back on that.
I suck
I just got in from a track workout and let me tell you, it was not pretty. I haven’t done intervals in ages. Not counting the odd time I step on the track to “start training” again, only to fail to string more than a couple of weeks together, it’s been nearly five years since I’ve worked out in earnest. My 2×1600, and 2×800 (had set out to do 3×1600 but needed that mental trick to get it done) were done in 6:40, 6:35, 3:10, 3:11. I know, know, know I shouldn’t compare these with the workouts I did when I was fit (and younger) but I did used to run 6 mile tempos on the track between 6:20-6:25. And I can’t run one that fast now? Ug! So I need to turn this into being inspired to keep going and not being depressed into giving up. The whole time I’m huffing and puffing around the oval the number 40 keeps ringing in my head. I can’t let that be a mental barrier to me. It’s stupid and I know it. So now I am home and icing my hammy and hoping to have a good running week and maybe run some km repeats next time. Here’s to masters running! 
Endorphins and creativity
When I run my head fills with remarkable ideas and insights which beg to be transferred to paper and admired. As my feet carry me along the river, and then up into the undulating paths of the forest, I contemplate, among other things, the richness of my life. My thoughts are unfailingly upbeat and inspired, maybe evidence of the endorphins we have heard so much about, yet they’re frustratingly ephemeral as once my shower is done and my tea has brewed, they have mostly flown away. I am left with only short bullets of what were once entire cerebral paragraphs. Thoughts on the nature of time and life, parenthood, motherhood, the mother-daughter relationship, the desire to follow my dreams, the joy of running, the pleasure of solitude, the merits of company, my relative youth, my relative lack of youth- all but gone. Maybe if I didn’t shower and brew tea but rather kept a notebook at the ready and simply dashed it all down while it still simmered. I worry, though, that these creative morsels are linked almost entirely with the physicality of my running and that they actually fall away with my last footfall. This means that all my brilliance will be unrealized existing only for my self approbation.
summer running
I had a great little run last night with my daughter riding along on her bike. She’s only now at the stage where this works. She fast enough, doesn’t need to stop and scratch her knee, and is fairly safe on the roads so I don’t spend the whole run stressing about her weaving or crashing. We had fun. It was a hot evening, so much so I could feel the heat of the pavement cooking my feet. It was just starting to really bother me when we turned into some shaded trails. It felt good out there. Summer running is so uncomplicated- just put on as little as is decently possible and go. Our course did wobble occasionally in our attempts to go through as many sprinklers as we could. I hurdled a hedge to get through one, only to have a disgruntled dog come darting off his porch to bark at me. When we came home we took out our own hose to the shower spray, and aimed it up at the summer evening sky. Standing beneath it we enjoyed a nice refreshing mist. There is always the essence of childhood in adventures taken on a hot summer evening. Just one more reason I run I guess.
More running
I want to want to run fast again. I used to be reasonably fast for a busy mother of three, but a severe running related injury nearly five years ago has caused me chronic problems. So that is a part of it, but I have also lost my drive and desire. Perhaps that is a part of my life that is done and I should not try to get it back, but how do I know? Maybe one more kick at the can would be incredibly fulfilling. There is nothing like the feeling after a great track workout. Blasting off some great 400s or 800s or km repeats produces a high that is difficult to replicate in a clean living way. I do plug away, several times a week, darting around my neighborhood and nearby trails, but there is no goal, no actual “training”. How to get that back though?
Running
My injury is all but healed and I am running again. My Monday run was in the trails, as it was a warm day and the sun was still quite strong by early evening. I took my crazy dog so he could burn off some energy. I usually leave him at home in the summer, as he doesn’t handle the heat well, but most of this run was along the river so he made many forays out into the water to cool himself off. Unfortunately this mean he would clamber out (every time!) just in front of me, and dash off leaving me sprayed with river water and mud. The forest is so verdant right now, and the birds so talkative (is that the best description?) It’s just amazingly beautiful and fulfilling to run in there right now. I climb into my car feeling relaxed and happy. Except now….. can I justify driving to the trail to run, instead of just heading out my front door, when gas prices are so high? Not to mention green-guilt. I don’t know, life’s little pleasures….
I pick running-
I pick running. I am a little surprised but the answer was handed to me. It’s unequivocal. I rode for years and years as a child and teen. I owned my own horses, did pony club and jumpers and eventing. I rode every day. I mucked out stalls and groomed and turned out and brought back in, the whole thing. Then I gave it all up for university- money and time. Needing a passion, a sport, a diversion I found running. People would ask, do you miss riding do you want to ride? No, I would reply, it’s just about having a passion, it doesn’t really matter what it is. I’ve been running for more years than I ever rode (who knew the years would pass so rapidly?) Several weeks ago I revisited riding, taking lessons and finding delight in the fact that my body remembered how to approach a jump and apply the aids etc. I loved it, it felt great. Then I was thrown by a little bastard horse right after a jump and my poor sacrum hurt like hell. Running Running Running- that’s what my panic thoughts kept coming back to. I want to run and I need to run. Now three weeks of hobbling have brought me to a point where I can slowly lope through 5 km with minimal pain. I can enjoy the riding ringside, watching my kid. This girl’s a runner.
