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Turning 40, motherhood, runningArchive for August, 2008
40 things to do the year I turn 40
I read about this idea in someone else’s blog. I thought it was clever but then I googled it and found it’s kind of cliche maybe. I still want to make a list to cross out over the next 12 months. It may take a while to compile though but I am making myself have to have it all written down by next week. I want it to be honest and challenging but also attainable. Also I have to want to do it- example: I saw “get a tatoo” on a few of them but I don’t want one. I doubt many things will be “biggies” (though my husband might think a vasectomy reversal and another child is a good idea, I do not!) and some may be downright fluffy, but that’s okay. There is no particular order to it either.
1. train for and run a road race again and not worry if it’s slower than my old times (sept 21!)
(it’s been 5 years). After that, run a 10k under 40 and go from there…..
2. get a mammogram
3. go away with my husband without children (even a weekend counts)
4. wash my car My husband did it for me, does this count? Perhaps not. There are 12 months less two days left in my year so I should probably do this again.
5. take the time to learn how to do things at wordpress
6. swim two lengths of the pool at our local community centre (this will involve some lessons)
7. form a female friendship (I’m not good at this being the introvert/loner that I am, yet I am feeling a void there as I get older and have things I want to discuss with someone my own age)
8. wear high heels
9. full time work for this year (no TOC-ing!!!) Done- the day before my birthday I got a new job
10. get finances organized (may happen yet-see number 9)
11. begin working on coaching levels for track and field
12. believe in myself
13. Visit a new a new place (in July we did take the kids to SF but I guess that won’t count) We are planning NY for 2010 so 2009 will have to be a little more economical.
14. super fast Grouse Grind
15. take a course (towards my TL cert?)
16. get a new camera and learn to use it
17. coach XC
18. work on coaching levels for track and field
19. go on dates with hubby
Barack
We’re Canucks, and yet our children are becoming passionate about American politics. Even my youngest who is only 9. And it’s not only my kids. My oldest son’s friend was wearing an Obama 08 shirt the other day. Whose vote is he trying to influence up here in the north? My oldest son has “Democrat” and “Obama” as his politics in his Facebook profile, and he does understand that those can’t really be a Canadian boy’s politics. Is this due to the celebrity McCain is accusing Obama of riding? Or is this a youth’s perceptiveness? He has seen and heard the crap coming out of the Bush admin, and American politics are frighteningly important to the world in general, so maybe he’s just hoping for the change that Obama seems to represent.
I suck
I just got in from a track workout and let me tell you, it was not pretty. I haven’t done intervals in ages. Not counting the odd time I step on the track to “start training” again, only to fail to string more than a couple of weeks together, it’s been nearly five years since I’ve worked out in earnest. My 2×1600, and 2×800 (had set out to do 3×1600 but needed that mental trick to get it done) were done in 6:40, 6:35, 3:10, 3:11. I know, know, know I shouldn’t compare these with the workouts I did when I was fit (and younger) but I did used to run 6 mile tempos on the track between 6:20-6:25. And I can’t run one that fast now? Ug! So I need to turn this into being inspired to keep going and not being depressed into giving up. The whole time I’m huffing and puffing around the oval the number 40 keeps ringing in my head. I can’t let that be a mental barrier to me. It’s stupid and I know it. So now I am home and icing my hammy and hoping to have a good running week and maybe run some km repeats next time. Here’s to masters running! 
Endorphins and creativity
When I run my head fills with remarkable ideas and insights which beg to be transferred to paper and admired. As my feet carry me along the river, and then up into the undulating paths of the forest, I contemplate, among other things, the richness of my life. My thoughts are unfailingly upbeat and inspired, maybe evidence of the endorphins we have heard so much about, yet they’re frustratingly ephemeral as once my shower is done and my tea has brewed, they have mostly flown away. I am left with only short bullets of what were once entire cerebral paragraphs. Thoughts on the nature of time and life, parenthood, motherhood, the mother-daughter relationship, the desire to follow my dreams, the joy of running, the pleasure of solitude, the merits of company, my relative youth, my relative lack of youth- all but gone. Maybe if I didn’t shower and brew tea but rather kept a notebook at the ready and simply dashed it all down while it still simmered. I worry, though, that these creative morsels are linked almost entirely with the physicality of my running and that they actually fall away with my last footfall. This means that all my brilliance will be unrealized existing only for my self approbation.
summer running
I had a great little run last night with my daughter riding along on her bike. She’s only now at the stage where this works. She fast enough, doesn’t need to stop and scratch her knee, and is fairly safe on the roads so I don’t spend the whole run stressing about her weaving or crashing. We had fun. It was a hot evening, so much so I could feel the heat of the pavement cooking my feet. It was just starting to really bother me when we turned into some shaded trails. It felt good out there. Summer running is so uncomplicated- just put on as little as is decently possible and go. Our course did wobble occasionally in our attempts to go through as many sprinklers as we could. I hurdled a hedge to get through one, only to have a disgruntled dog come darting off his porch to bark at me. When we came home we took out our own hose to the shower spray, and aimed it up at the summer evening sky. Standing beneath it we enjoyed a nice refreshing mist. There is always the essence of childhood in adventures taken on a hot summer evening. Just one more reason I run I guess.
fifteen days…
I have 15 days left in my thirties, but it’s all good. I’m starting to like the sound of the word ”forty”. It sounds tidy and solid. I haven’t planned how I will celebrate. I really don’t know. I definitely do not want a party. I am too much of an introvert to enjoy that. Everyone I know has been warned. Is having the birthday girl burst into tears and run in the other direction a desirable reaction after the guests yell “surprise”? I think a nice dinner with the hubby will suffice. Maybe start the day with a great run. Maybe a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. I feel like looking on this as New Year’s Day. What resolutions can I make? Not for the coming year alone but for my future in general. One biggie is to get my finances in order. The other is career related but that is another big can of worms. One is about becoming more involved socially. Maybe drop in on the local running club once a week. Maybe try and train (hamstring willing!) for a race. There are more. I shall muse on this.
On another note we had a great hike yesterday. Not super long but a lovely destination and the kids had a blast playing in a lovely cold river.
